Posted by: underwaterriver | March 31, 2011

Cross-Cultural Caring: To Bite or Not to Bite?

This is part 7 of the “Cross-Cultural Caring” series. The series deals with tips and tricks that you can use to succesfully make a cross-cultural relationship work.

To bite or not to bite? That is the questions of today. It is no secret that the first world society is far from innocent. I believe that is why there seems to be such a fascination with my friendship with Marisa. There is quite a level of innocence that exists in the dynamics between us that is just not seen in relationship between people in North American society. And I would really like to keep it that way! Unfortunately, that can be challenging at times especially when I have to leave Argentina and go back to a society full of snakes.

This blog deals with what you can do if you feel like you’ve been “bitten” by a friend or someone from your own culture and not only are you wounded, you feel that venom is trying to get to you. I got “bitten” when I got home after my first trip. In fact, I got bitten by more than one person and in one case it affected me greatly. I could feel that there was this venom inside of me trying to get to me and affect all that was good. I didn’t want to come back to Argentina a different person than the person Marisa knew and loved. Read More…

Posted by: underwaterriver | March 31, 2011

Cross-Cultural Caring: Leggo My Ego!

This is part 6 of the “Cross-Cultural Caring” series.  The series deals with tips and tricks that you can use to succesfully make a cross-cultural relationship work.

This article is all about egging your ego because that’s what you’re gonna need to do if you want to see the survival of a cross cultural relationship. Marisa & I are so blessed that ego has never been a factor in our relationship. I believe that one of the key to the success of our friendship is that right from the beginning we alway had the same vision and goal. That being that we loved each other and we wanted to grow. It may sound really simple to say something like that but having the same goal really makes all the difference once you are half way into the relationship and you are trying to work things out with the other person. Read More…

Posted by: underwaterriver | March 31, 2011

Cross-Cultural Caring: Mirror, Mirror on the Wall…

This is part 5 of the “Cross-Cultural Caring” series.  The series deals with tips and tricks that you can use to succesfully make a cross-cultural relationship work.

As this cross cultural friendship with Marisa progressed, I began to notice abit of a phenomenon. Sometimes we would mimic each other’s moves or have the same mannerisms or gestures. I didn’t think much of it until I stumbled onto some articles on the internet on a behavior psychology and body language experts called “Mirroring”. When someone “mirrors” someone and copies or mimics their actions and gestures, it is actually to create rapport between the two of them.

I cannot describe to you the wonderful feeling that went through me when I found that out. My friend has subconsciously been trying to create rapport between us through “mirroring”. And “mirroring” can actually help when you and the other person come from two very different cultures. Her culture is more open, loving, and demostrative while me as a Chinese Canadian tends to be a little bit more reserved.

Sometimes I do sense that she does hold back and be a little bit more reserved towards me when my behavior is reserved. I think she does it because she wants me to feel comfortable and doesn’t want me to feel uncomfortable in any way shape or form. And on my part, I am learning to be a little bit more open and loving because I know that she needs it and it makes her feel comfortable and it’s what she’s used to. Bit by bit we are striking a nice balance and finding a happy medium between a culture that is tends to be more reserved and a culture that tends to be more open. Read More…

Posted by: underwaterriver | March 31, 2011

Cross-Cultural Caring: So You Think You Can Love

This is part 3 of the “Cross-Cultural Caring” series.  The series deals with tips and tricks that you can use to succesfully make a cross-cultural relationship work.

This one friendship has taught me is the many ways that love can be manifested from culture to culture. A key thing to remember is that sometimes someone is trying to show me love but it may not come in a form that I recognize or am used to and to acknowledge the person’s efforts to offer comfort or love. For example, Diana and Marisa both have ways of showing me support. Diana’s way of showing me love is more or less in a form that I recognize and am used to. Read More…

Posted by: underwaterriver | March 31, 2011

Cross-Cultural Caring: One Size Does NOT Fit All

This is part 4 of the “Cross-Cultural Caring” series.  The series deals with tips and tricks that you can use to succesfully make a cross-cultural relationship work.

Growing up in North America where culturally people are taught to be expressive, it is easy to take on a “One Size Fits All” mentality. What I mean by that it is easy to fall into the trap of thinking that we all deal with things like stress, anxiety, loneliness, fear, embarrassment in a very similar manner. But as my friendship with Marisa progresses, I am learning that one size does NOT fit all and in fact, her makeup as a person coming from this culture here in Argentina is entirely different than someone from North America and it is something I have to take into consideration all the time. Read More…

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